As we near the end of February, I know my timing isn’t always the best, but I feel compelled to recognize February as American Heart Month. But as we approach the two year mark when my mom passed away from a stroke March 22, 2014, maybe my timing isn’t so far off after all.
There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think of her, miss her, talk to her still, and cry for her. She was my best friend and I always wanted to make her proud. Honestly no words can explain how I feel on a day to day basis. Some days I am at peace, some days the pain is still so raw I can barely stand it, some days I miss her so much that I feel I have to talk about her to keep me sane, and some days I feel numb. Some days I just want to curl in bed and cry myself to sleep and some days I don’t want to waste another moment, live life to the fullest embracing and cherishing my little family and everything this world has to offer. It's quite the roller coaster ride, but everyday I get up move on.
I was talking with a client today about our weekend plans and when I told her “I don’t know what I’m going to do this weekend but it will be epic anyway!” She asked “what would make it so epic?”
I paused a bit thinking “well, being with my little family of course” but then I said out loud “to be able to just BE.” She knew exactly what I meant and shared a very touching, spiritual and personal moment with me that left me thinking of mom in the very same way of what she was describing to me. It was an emotional moment for the both of us in different ways but yet the same.
So along with all of the details listed below of heart disease and ways to prevent it that we have all heard a million times, I will have to add…What can you do for yourself and your family to just BE? To BE at peace, to BE in the moment, to BE in every way of your spirituality, to BE comfortable with yourself, to BE one with nature and the vastness of the world. Now, whether you take me for a blabbering hippy or someone who is truly focused on getting down to the why and what makes you get up in the morning, I guess that is only a matter of opinion, and I’ll take both as a compliment. But in all seriousness, what can you BE doing or even not doing in this moment to make your life extraordinary and less stressful?
I firmly believe Mindset Matters Most and stress plays a huge role in all the little behaviors we do, unconsciously or not, that lead up to these bigger risk factors. Mom was always under a lot of stress. She didn’t drink, but she did reach for “crunchy” food to calm her mind and many of the things listed below.
Ask yourself, when you’re under stress, do you:
Heart disease is the leading cause of death for both men and women.
You can make healthy changes to lower your risk of developing heart disease. Controlling and preventing risk factors is also important for people who already have heart disease. To lower your risk:
As Jim Rohn says, “Stand guard at the door of your mind.”
This morning I was listening to Darren Hardy on his Darren Daily and he asks the simple question, “What do you love?”
If you love what you do, you will never see it as work, just life itself. Steve Jobs said “people say you have to have a lot of passion, if you don’t any rational person will give up. If you don’t love it, you’re going to fail. You’d give up and no one would blame you.” Everything will have its obstacles but when you push through you will get that feeling of exhilaration and being fulfilled by your work.
My mom was an entrepreneur and her and my father owned a few small shops throughout the course of their 26 year marriage. My first gig was making donuts when I was 5 or 6 years old at their coffee shop “The Coffee Cup,” in Monument, Colorado. After they divorced and mom and I moved to Albuquerque, she continued on with that entrepreneur spirit. She was self-employed until the day she passed away. I often wondered why mom continued down that path. I was there through her struggles, stress and worry. I would go to bed and wake up the next morning and she would still be working hard on a project that was due for someone in a couple of days. She always worked best under pressure. She was the best I’ve ever known and everyone else knew it too. She would have people send her work from Michigan, Arizona and all over the place. She even had a mother from Poland who would save all of her items and bring them to my mom to be fixed when she came to visit her daughter. My mom was global!
She was a rock star to so many. She made wedding dresses, equestrian show shirts, helped with Louie and Lucy Lobo mascots, upholstery…you name it, she did it at one point in her career and she rocked it. Everyone saw the end result, but I saw the daily struggles of her hard work. I often wondered, “Why doesn’t mom just get a stable job at Joann’s, Cloth World, or Hancocks?” When I got brave enough to ask her she very sternly replied, “I don’t want to.” I thought she was just being stubborn. Only now do I fully understand want mom meant.
Passion. She absolutely loved what she did for people. She loved seeing the smiles on their faces and their favorite pieces fitting to perfection for their special event. She helped make women feel beautiful in their clothing.
After mom passed I found myself asking the same question to myself, “I could just stay at Costco, check in, check out and I’m done.” But after the grief and depression subsided (grief never fully goes away) and the more I heard from clients who have never felt better because of their custom exercise and nutrition programs, the more I pressed on. The other day a client was recognized for a Success Spotlight. She is a rock star in the studio and was recognized for her mindset shifts. When I told her the news of her achievement, she gave me a hug, got a bit teary and said she needed this.
You never know the IMPACT you’ll have on someone’s life and that’s what keeps me absolutely in love with what I do.
Having the right attitude to designing your life is key. As Jim Rohn says “if you had enough reasons you could do the most incredible things.”
He goes on to say, “It’s easy to let life deteriorate into making a living instead of designing a life. It’s easy to get trapped by economic necessity, but we all have a choice.”
What are your reasons? Personal, family, benevolence? What has you turned on? What has you turned off?
This doesn’t have to apply to career paths either. Think of these in your health, fitness and nutrition goals. What are your reasons for wanting to achieve your goals? What is your passion?
Think about it and then take ACTION!
We are one month into the New Year so far, how are you doing?
This is usually the time when we our New Year’s resolutions tend to drift away or we begin to fall back into our old habits. Our negative self-talk might be creeping back in or as we work on ourselves, we’re noticing the other people who seem to be falling into negative thinking habits. Or perhaps those negative thinking habits were always there, but now you're starting recognize it and wanting to pull away from it. As much as we may want to be positive all the time, negative is normal. As Jim Rohn says, “You must learn to handle the negative. Don’t ignore it, don’t live in it or dwell on it, but you must handle it.”
Jim Rohn talks about the Attitude Diseases that hold us back and that “one week of neglect could cost you a year of repair.” So, what are these attitude diseases we need to be on the lookout for and what's one step to handle it?
Indifference- the shrug of the shoulder, drifting, or the mild approach to life. Jim says “you cannot drift to the top of the mountain. We get going for two reasons: inspiration and desperation. Which one or perhaps both, will lead you to your success?"
Indecision- this is mental paralysis. A life full of adventure is a life full of many decisions.
Doubt- is like a plague, especially self-doubt. Become a believer in yourself. The understanding of self-worth is the beginning of progress.
Worry – is devastating that can cause family problems, health problems, and financial problems. Give it up. Who needs it? It’s not easy to give it up, but it’s worth it.
Over caution- timid approach to life. “What if…” is language of the poor. Everything you do and even don't do is a risk. Jim says, "It’s all risky, so give it a go. Don’t ask for security, ask for adventure. It’s not important how long you live, what’s important is how you live."
Pessimism- trying to figure out what’s wrong, looks for faults and is delighted when they are found. Looks out the window and doesn’t notice the beautiful sunrise, instead notices the specs on the window! Jim says, “Poor thinking habits keeps most people poor. Every day stand guard at the door of your mind."
Complaining – crying, whining, and griping. Jim says, "It’s a waste of time. Every time you spend 5 minutes complaining and you’ve just wasted 5 minutes of your life."
Bottom line of what Jim Rohn says is “Learn to put everything you’ve got into everything you do.”
“The strangest secret is that we become what we think about most of the time.” – Earl Nightingale