If you didn’t know this about me already, I’ve been in the Todd Durkin Mastermind Group for several years now collaborating and coaching with other fitness business professionals from around the world. It’s been a life changing experience and have built relationships with amazing fire breathing dragons who I call my family.
And right now we are all in a friendly MyZone competition. MyZone is a heart rate monitoring device that connects to your phone, allows you to see other people’s stats on heart rate, calories burned and MEPS earned (MyZone effort points, rewarding effort rather than fitness). You can also form challenges and section them off into teams which is what we’re doing for the month of May themed Game of Thrones, a show I admittedly have never seen.
I have THE one and only Todd Durkin on my team and let me tell you, it can be intimidating. This guy is a machine. The majority of these people are machines! I used to be a machine! Some still say I’m a machine. At my day job, my nicknames vary between “machine,” “Becca the board killer,” “workhorse,” “the boss,” etc. If you know my recent aliments, I certainly don’t feel like a machine lately.
Here’s the message I want to deliver. It’s YOU vs. YOU. Don't get caught up in the comparison trap!
I am not the same person I used to be physically. Nobody is really. Some people make a radical shift in their mindset and change their appearance and strength and that is always awesome to see. It’s important for me to address this because there seems to be an almost depressive state people get into when they think back of what they “used to do” to the point that they give up completely.
I’m going to do my Al Bundy reflection for a moment. I used to be a nationally ranked BMX competitor, state champion in my age group, figure competitor, and even competed in a triathlon not knowing how to swim and obstacle course Spartan Races. I would pride myself of how hard I could work at my day job then come home and kill it in my workouts and then the back yard. There is nothing greater than that sense of accomplishment.
Now, if I tried doing that with the same intensity that I had my body would shut down! When my body temperature gets too hot I go into a panic attack. If my heart rate goes too high for an extended period of time, I go into a panic attack. If I’m in any way without food for longer than 3 hours my blood sugar tanks. And now of course with this chronic chest pain, not only are my upper body workouts limited but so is any activity like yard work, working in the garage and even lifting little Emma on my left side.
BUT!! Here’s the lesson from the message. It’s one of my core values and that’s to keep climbing. We have to keep moving that needle 2mm each day to the direction we want to go. And we have to keep celebrating the small wins! We have to keep getting up and doing even the smallest movements, any movements even if we don’t feel like it. Some days we have to get up and recommit to ourselves every single day. Maybe it’s because we’re tired, or sore, or not feeling well, or even if we just don’t want to and have become disenchanted with moving our bodies. Some days it’s easy and some days it can feel like a never ending battle to just get moving. I get it. I seriously do.
I know I physically cannot do what I used to do and I’m totally OK with that and accept it fully. What I would not accept of myself is if I just gave up. If I stopped finding ways that my body could still benefit from and feel good with. We are our own test subjects and if something isn’t working we need to keep going until we find something that does.
I get told almost on a daily basis from my students that I make things look easy. I take this as a compliment but also remind my students it’s my job to show the correct form so they know what to look for, feel and expect and to modify if needed. If I had trouble showing the correct form and couldn’t do it, it would be very unprofessional of me to expect my students to do it correctly if I couldn’t.
So if you’re having that negative self-talk about comparing yourself to someone else or to what you used to be, take a breath and ask yourself what are the small steps you can do to keep moving forward? Focusing on those small imperfect wins add up and create a compound effect. Trust me, I’m also a recovering perfectionist. Imperfection daily beats perfection when you feel like. As my coach Todd says, “Ready, fire, aim. If you wait to aim you’ll never fire.”
What can you do to Recommit to YOU?
Make your move,
P.S. If you’re ready to Recommit to YOU in person, I have a few open times now that school is just about over. Send me a message and I can get you started on the program or if you’d prefer online I have a DIY ready to go for you to start whenever you’d like or a Group Coaching option for that additional accountability.
As I’m watching Frozen for the umpteenth time today with little Em’s and hearing Olaf over and over, it’s so true how that annoying little snowman has a point.
“Love is putting someone else’s needs before yours.”
As Tony Robbins states “We have six human needs in life: certainty, significance, variety, love/connection, growth and contribution.”
It is only by meeting the growth and contribution needs (putting someone else’s needs before yours as Olaf says) that you will experience sustainable joy VS. momentary pleasure.
If people are NOT contributing and basically only thinking of themselves, they cannot be fulfilled for the long term and will begin certain negative behaviors to feel significance, connection, certainty or variety.
May is National Recommitment Month and I’m dedicated to helping women Recommit to themselves. Heck I even created a program called Recommit to YOU in 42 that I’ve taught over the last 5 years.
I’ll be launching that again soon but for now, I want you to think about the areas of your life where you can contribute or grow so that you can Recommit to YOU
I used to ask myself, “how do the super achievers do it all?’ I spent many years grinding at my business and other areas of my life so I certainly felt like I was doing the work of any super achiever. Physically and mentally. People would even often tell me “I don’t know how you do it all!” Even then, I really didn’t feel like I was a super achiever. I would often think “gosh, when am I ever going to *get* THERE?”
Where is THERE anyway?
In my quest to simplify my business and life, I realized that it was focusing on the basics every day that were going to yield me the best results.
The same is with beginning any exercise or nutrition program. Focusing on keeping it simple and mastering the basics will also give you the best long-lasting results.
This simple concept can really be applied to any area of your life.
So, if you’re stuck in a rut, how do we recommit to ourselves?
How do super achievers do it all? The answer is, they don’t.
They have their priorities clear in their mind and they DECLINE everything else that comes their way. Yup, just say no.
Remember Jim Rohn said if you have more than half a dozen priorities you don’t have any…
What top 3-6 DAILY habits or non-negotiables as I like to call them do you need to recommit to yourself and your priorities?
Put those on a graph sheet or somewhere that can be easily seen and checked off DAILY.
Only allow yourself to allocate time to your calendar to something that significantly contributes to the accomplishment of your priorities and here’s the scary part, say no to all the rest.
As I’m setting my May non-negotiables in my planner, I’m reflecting on how I used to stress out about EVERYTHING that needed to get done. I hope this serves as a bit of peace of mind to Recommit to YOU and become a super achiever.
You got this!
Make your move
It’s been a habit of mine lately to combine my reading with walking on a medium to high incline on the treadmill. I’ve been rehabbing an injury and as much I’d like to start jogging again, it’s just not the right time. I usually fall asleep when I read just about anything so this makes me happy that I’m finishing my third book of the year so far.
Anyway, as I was reading this morning I was reminded about a specific part of priorities that I wanted to share with you. We often have so many things on our to-do lists that have us running around crazy and overwhelmed. I hear it all the time from family, friends, and clients and sometimes even in my own head.
What I read this morning helped put things back into perspective and it’s interesting how this is what I read this morning on a day I decided to change things up a bit: “Any time you feel overwhelmed, there’s a good chance the culprit is a lack of clear priorities.”
Think about that for a little bit. You might be thinking “well everything on my list in important!” I know. I used to be that way. I’m old school. I love paper planners. I found (and still do) that checking off things on my to-do list made me feel accomplished and productive.
Here’s the thing, the list kept getting longer!! Have you ever felt like that? You start one thing then you’re reminded of all these other little things that you jot down to get done too. And I always have to write something down or I’ll forget. Is that successful? Not really.
“Success has less to do with what we can get ourselves to do and more with keeping ourselves from doing what we shouldn’t” – Kenneth Cole.
We know we shouldn’t be spending hours each day on our phones for games and social media, or coming home from an exhaustive day at work and plopping ourselves on the couch to unwind, or even wasting our attention and energy on people who cause you to lose focus on what’s really important.
Here are three tips for you to RECOMMIT to YOU and your success:
I hope those tips help you in the area of your life that you need it most.
Make your move,
Remember how I said you have to get better at making change if you want those changes to “stick?”
Well there’s one more thing you need to get better at and that’s knowing yourself.
Knowing what YOU need and want in order to get where YOU want to go.
I KNOW that chocolate and tacos are non-negotiables for me. Knowing that I can still have them every now and then make me smile!
However, I need to be CONSISTENT in something else to be able to enjoy them.
Every day make ONE small positive change to your health and/or nutrition. It can be the same small improvement every day, or a new one.
The biggest changes in life come from just moving 2mm each day in the direction you want to go.
!I’ll tell you a little secret...
I don’t like to cook. I don’t get fancy when I do cook. I prefer to keep things simple and of course quick.
When I find myself in between hangry and eating everything in the cupboard, I can always rely on this quick and simple meal.
It literally takes two minutes.
Quinoa/rice blend 90 seconds in microwave (I’ll usually use just 1/2 cup when it’s ready).
Grab your spring mix
tuna or salmon packet
Can also add avocado
Mix it all together and boom you’ve got your quick meal with the good fats, carbs and protein!
I was 6 years old when I realized that I could lose my mom forever. My mom’s friend was driving us in her Volkswagen Bus to the 4th of July parade in our small town. When we parked, I looked over at my mom still sitting in her seat and all I saw was blood. All over the seat. As I found out later, my mom had uterine fibroid tumors and one of them hemorrhaged. I remember the ambulance carting her away and scared to think of what was happening to my mom. My grandmother had passed away about a year and half prior to this and I was just beginning to understand what death meant. I believe it was this defining moment in all of my six years of life that had me cling to my mom and I would do anything for her. From that moment on, my worst fear in life was losing her. I only had one fear in my life. One fear that I would cry myself to sleep at night as a kid. Sure I was afraid of trying new things or meeting new people, but I embraced that kind of fear. I challenged it. But the fear of losing my mom…that was almost paralyzing. Something that would inevitably happen. I was so full of fear and panic at times and I would do anything for her, to make her “invincible.”
Fast forward about 10 years, I was a 16 year old nerdy, introverted, artistic, 80’s hair band fanatic. My mom was experiencing symptoms that she didn’t understand. Her sister Sharon encouraged her to see a doctor to see if she was Diabetic. Her doctor told her she was just fat and needed to lose weight. Her NEW doctor did the appropriate tests to confirm she was indeed Type II Diabetic.
When she wanted to get in shape I was totally onboard. Anything to prolong mom’s life. She wasn’t dying, but my memories always took me back to that day. What I saw. I wanted to help in any way I could. We walked almost every day after I got home from school. We got VHS workout tapes of Richard Simmons and Tony Little and worked out a few times per week to the videos. I didn’t exactly fit in with the athletic crowd and that’s about all I knew how to support her. We didn’t know what we were really doing but I liked how each workout felt. We had a good start to things but ultimately, there was always work to be done and a project that needed to be completed. We were inconsistent but got to it when we could.
Over the next couple of years while I was still in high school I began to put connections together that bad foods and lack of exercise made for an unhealthy body. Seems like a no brainer now but at the time, it wasn’t talked about. I began looking at my family and those who ate and drank and were overweight. I noticed a lot of my friends were that way too. I started putting the pieces together and decided what I DID NOT want my life to look like. Realizing later what the meaning of an addict is, I knew I could easily fall into that trap and I worked like hell to not follow in the footsteps of some of my family and friends who had turned to alcohol, drugs or food. Instead, I became a workaholic, but I digress. That’s another story. I began racing BMX with some friends and one friend in particular took me to a local gym and taught me the ways of strength training. I was hooked. We raced BMX and lifted together for several years and my love for fitness continued to grow.
More importantly, I wanted to continue this path to help mom become healthier. I was there during her struggles and I remember feeling helpless not knowing what to do. We’d continue to walk but her work would often take priority over exercise. Eventually, nearly 10 years after graduating high school, I decided to switch my bachelors from Art Studio and Art History to Exercise Science and Nutrition. I had to continue to help mom in some way and this was the direction I needed to go.
December 29, 2006, just months after graduating the University of New Mexico, my mom suffered a heart attack. Thankfully she recognized the symptoms immediately and was able to call for help. She had 90% blockage in her right coronary artery, had two stents put in and got a new lease on life. After her heart attack she was totally onboard putting herself first and making changes. I created a meal plan for her and we eased into walking again that ultimately lead to her losing 30 pounds in 6 months. She had never felt better and her cardiologist said she was one of his star patients!
Things were great until her thyroid levels changed and needed her thyroid medication adjusted (something that I would learn later from my own personal struggle). Mom gained her weight back very quickly and we were both confused, frustrated and a bit pissed off.
It would be two years later to realize just what all of that felt like. I had given birth to our first baby girl and within 6 weeks my thyroid levels were so far off the spectrum I was prompted to see an endocrinologist immediately. At first, I was diagnosed with HYPERthyroidism and 3 months later with medication, I was feeling fantastic.
Three weeks later I went from feeling phenomenal to feeling extremely lethargic and foggy headed. My hair was falling out, my speech felt slurred, my body felt weighted down with bricks, and it would feel like my body was nailed to the bed and could not wake up. My lips, jaw and entire body would go numb and start cramping up. I was told “this is the new you now and it’s probably just new mommy fatigue” and basically to get used to it.
My thyroid levels went so far down the other end of the spectrum and was diagnosed with HYPOthyroidism and Hashimotos, an auto-immune disease where anti-bodies are attacking the thyroid gland. I remembered what happened with mom and her immediate weight gain. I admit I was fearful I was headed down that same path.
I call BS. There is NO way this is the NEW me.
It took three years for my thyroid levels to finally balance out, blood work every six weeks, different medications that didn’t make me sick and learning the importance of the adrenals and nutrition for auto-immune. I had to get brave with my doctor and request things she didn’t approve of and fought me on. When she finally agreed she phrased it “WHEN this doesn’t work, you’ll go back on this other medication.”
Seven years later and it’s still working and I am ME again.
Mom continued to struggle with her thyroid which affected her weight and emotions that contributed to her stress eating and continued fighting her diabetes due. She wanted to be healthy, she wanted to lose weight, and she fought and struggled for it. It was a viscous cycle for her.
March 22, 2014, my greatest fear became a reality when my mom, my best friend, passed away after suffering a stroke just 2 days prior. My birthday is March 19th and I like to think she held on as long as she could so this didn’t happen on my birthday. Her close friend passed away on her grandson’s birthday and I remember mom saying “you couldn’t hold on one more day?”
The hardest part of all of that was that I was the one who had to make the decision to let her go. After all of these years trying to make her “invincible.” It was either to let her go or have the option of a surgery that would relieve some of the pressure in her head. She wouldn’t have had any quality of life and would’ve only lived another 2-3 months as a vegetable. We had conversations over the years and even two months prior to her stroke that if something like that happened to her, to not let her live like that. Even though those were her wishes, it was the most unimaginable thing to give the ok.
My siblings and I brought her home and made her as comfortable as possible. We knew it would be only a matter of hours before it was her time. Mom was spent the last ten years or more devoting her time and energy into her church. When we called her Bishop to let him know about mom, he didn’t hesitate one minute and came as soon as he could to give her a blessing. 20 minutes later, she was gone. She was waiting for him. I felt a warm pressure on my back as I lay over her legs. My sister felt a sweeping motion across her face. One of my clients who is a hospice nurse later told me that her patients’ families experience that all the time. She likes to think that the pressure was a hug and the sweep across the face was a kiss. I cherish that and know that she is finally ok.
They say that the Lord doesn’t give you more than you can handle. While I admit I’m more of a spiritual, talking to the universe hippie of sorts that quote kept running through my mind as this greatest fear was piling on our family.
There have been many challenges that I continued to face since my mom’s passing but with each challenge that seemed impossible to get through, that quote always comes back to me and there has always been another door that opened.
I have a question for you.
Are you setting the right expectations for your health and wellness?
If you’re like the rest of us you’ve likely tried to change everything all at once.
It doesn’t work!! Something gives usually within the first week and we either give up all together or get so mad at ourselves we feel inadequate, like a failure or that this is NEVER going to work!
As humans, we can really focus on one thing at a time. When we focus on one thing, we become really good at it!! You know that Bruce Lee quote I shared a few weeks ago? “I fear not the man who has practiced 10,000 kicks once, but I fear the man who has practiced one kick 10,000 times.” If you know me, you know one of my mantras is “keep it simple, master the basics.” But I wasn’t always this way. I used to pride myself in taking on so many tasks, challenges, clients, classes, certifications, etc. Between full-time work, full-time school, getting married, having kiddos, running a business, figure competitions, Spartan races, even a triathlon, and everything in between, I was ALL IN!!
I was THE BEST (in my opinion of course) at multi-tasking! What happened? TOTAL BURNOUT. It was only a matter of time for me to be running on all cylinders for so long that this would happen.
Something else happened. When the events ended, the challenges ended, the ALL IN training ended. I could quickly see how when so many people finish a challenge, they revert back to their old habits. There was a feeling of “now what?” It was always go, go, go, go and wondering if there was going to be a time to just BE.
Once on got CLEAR and FOCUSED on what I wanted to achieve for my LIFE, then I could work backwards and narrow things down to fit my lifestyle, family, goals and really live life by design. It’s been so refreshing to be able to wake up and enjoy without having this anxiety, stress and seriousness about everything!
All of these experiences have given me the tools to be able to share with you. I feel it is my personal duty to help women live a life of strength, independence and wellness from the inside out!
For those who have worked with me in the Finally Fit space, more than likely you’ve gone through my Recommit to YOU in 42 program that focuses on just that. Recommitting to YOU. I’m SUPER EXCITED to say this is going to available for you online beginning October 15th!
This program is for you if:
This program is NOT for you if:
I'm currently taking my beta testers through the online program and excited to launch this October 15th!
Wow, what an incredible stressful journey these last 8 months have been! It feels good to write again and I’d love to share what we’ve been up to and what lies ahead!
Where do I begin? Well it all started on our Todd Durkin Mastermind Retreat this past October in beautiful Telluride Colorado!
I can’t say enough about this business and life coaching tribe that I have been so fortunate to be a part of for so many years. This gorgeous mountain Retreat brought so much clarity into what was right for my life and my family at this time. We were given a series of questions that made us DIG DEEP about what we TRULY want out of our business and LIFE.
I had an incredible Ah-ha moment that I was continuing to chase a dream I’ve held on to for 12 years, only to realize that dream no longer served my life, my vision and more importantly my family. I had to get REAL with myself. I’ve been fighting this since my mom died in 2014 and even more so when little Emma was born. I knew in my gut after Emma came October 2016, that I was ready to move on. It would’ve been perfect timing as our lease on High Assets was up. But I still kept forcing that 12 year old dream and found another place on Eagle Ranch.
With this new place, I had everything a business owner could dream of. A more visible location with an influx of new private clients, cheaper rent, bigger space, FANTASTIC landlords, but……
I was totally exhausted with a newborn. I mean heck, my maternity leave from Finally Fit was only 4 days! Yeah, I know. I think everyone asked me what the heck was I doing back so soon and well if you’ve had your own business, it’s hard to shut it off. I actually had someone in our internship so he could be ready to take over when Emma came, BUT she decided to make her grand entrance 4 weeks early!! Eventually, I was able to get some relief coaching from him for a few months and that helped tremendously.
Everyday I’d stare at our little humans and kept thinking I don’t want to miss ANY of this!! I’d think about mom and how PRECIOUS life is and how QUICKLY it can be gone.
So while I was answering these questions in Telluride, I devised a plan for my exit strategy in 2 years. I had 2 more years left on my lease and that would be it for my brick and mortar Finally Fit. I looked forward to training at home and begin another project that excited me. I’m not looking to be a big box gym, own multiple locations or even have employees so it was an easier plan to devise.
Over the coming months it was all I could think about. My exhaustion, anxiety, thyroid, adrenals were all taking a beating. Mama J (my coach in the TDMM) said to me “when you able to let things go, the universe will open up to you.” And I had let go of Finally Fit. I was ready to move on.
Then one day in January of this year, I was ready to let go and donate my Grandmas couch that had been my mom’s for decades, yet another thing I was holding onto that I didn’t need. My wheels started turning… if I got rid of the couch that would allow me to empty out the addition to the back of the house… which would make a perfect little studio. Hmmmmm.
I was able to give the couch to a WONDERFUL home and started the process of making that addition available..…you know, just in case. ;)
I reached out to my landlords the middle of February to see what my options were, if I even had any. We had a great conversation and they said they would put our space on the market again but if things changed to let them know. Within a week they had someone ready to take over my lease if I was serious! I took the offer and had 10 days to vacate! Holy Moly talk about hustle and a whirlwind of events!
Mama J was right. The universe tends to unfold as it should. I was able to literally let go of a physical possession that allowed me to let go in every other way and RECEIVE what was coming.
We have the POWER to change our circumstances and our LIFE to make it what we truly desire. I’ve able to do that twice now. First making my dream come true opening up Finally Fit and help changing the way fitness is done in Albuquerque for over 6 years. And now, living a new dream, watching our little humans grow, spending every moment possible with them, and still being able to coach my POWER of 10 Ladies in my own home and focus on other projects coming up that I’ll soon share with you all.
Until next time,
Let go and live life!
Tell me if this sounds familiar. You seem to have your best health and fitness interests in mind. You eat fairly healthy, stay pretty active and overall have a good energy and zest for life.
Then overtime, what may seem sudden but actually a very slow creeping time frame as you reflect back, you realize you haven’t worked out in weeks, ok months. You’re willing to admit to yourself that eating healthy is now not eating the entire bag of chips in one setting. Or perhaps leaving a few chocolates so that your child doesn’t question where they all went.
You brush it off and tell yourself “Hey, I’m still making my breakfast in the morning, I’m still getting my protein shake in when I need it, and I have a great start to my day.” Then perhaps you realize the second half of your day is filled with meetings, picking up the kids, doing homework, kids after school activities or perhaps even going back to work. The day is shot, it’s been 7 hours since you’ve eaten last, you’re getting HANGRY and its 30 minutes before your kids have to go to bed. What the heck are you supposed to cook in that amount of time that’s healthy?
Ok well I’ll just grab something quick on the way home. Maybe Subway so it’s at least somewhat healthy. Perhaps you’re making sure your kids are feed but then skimp on your meal to make sure everything around the house is ready for the next day. Kids are bathed and off to bed and by the time you get a moment to sit its 8:30-9:00 at night. You’re not really hungry but you know you need to eat. Agh, well it’s too late to eat I’m just going to go to bed. Then the week repeats itself and pretty soon you’re months into this cycle that has now become the “norm.”
I get it. I do. That’s been me more times than I’d like to admit. One of my confessions of a fitness coach.
The roughest time for me was when my mom passed away. During that time, I seemed to have lost all knowledge of what had become natural habit of exercising and eating right. Months went by and I was feeling extremely weak and low on energy. I realized I had completely let everything fall by the wayside while my mind and heart were trying to comprehend life without mom. I felt lost.
She was my WHY. My purpose. My mission to get her healthy. My best friend.
About 5 months after she passed I started to “wake up” out of this fog I was in. I slowly started moving again, prepping some meals again and bringing myself back to a functioning human being.
And this is how Recommit to YOU in 42 was born. Over the last 3 years Recommit to YOU in 42 has developed into something more than I ever imagined. Bringing awareness to women who are needing to RECOMMIT to themselves without your average gym setting beat down workout. Without your average lose 30 pounds short term challenge. Without your average boot camp or CrossFit setting.
Recommit to YOU helps build or rebuild that foundational strength, develop better behavior practices in fitness, nutrition and mindset, and improves self-confidence, self-esteem and your relationship with food. And more importantly, helps you Recommit to YOU for lasting success for everything else to follow (weight loss, decrease in body fat, pant size, etc).
Join me as we kick off another Recommit to YOU January 15th!
For more info please check out our Recommit to YOU page